Always the...Never the...
"Hello?"
"Omacine Buckeye, how are you?"
It was my cousin Madeline Shaw, her sugary voice toyed with my despair.
"Hey, Maddie."
"You alright? You sound a little down."
Maddie always seemed concerned about my state of mind; she'd been like that since we were kids, and I never could quite figure out if it was genuine or not.
"Oh, nothing. Had a rough day at work."
A rough day, and I was sulking in it with a tub of chocolate ice cream.
"Well," she continued, "I have some news that I hope will cheer you up."
What wasn't cheery about dear Mads.
"Omacine! You there?"
"I'm here. Excited to hear your news."
"Omacine, I'm getting married."
"Married!" I choked on my ice cream. Not that I was shocked that a guy was interested in beautiful Maddie, but I couldn't' believe she'd actually found one to like the most. Maddie had always attracted the biggest crowd of gorgeous men to walk the face of this earth.
"Yes, married!" she squealed. I imagined her waving an expensive engagement ring in the air.
"I'm so happy for you." I wiped the sticky chocolate from my chin.
"Well, the even bigger news is that I want you to be my maid-of-honor. Will you, Omacine? Will you!"
"Um..."
"Omacine, I'd die if you refused. You're my best friend and favorite cousin in the world; I can't do this without you."
I was her only friend because it seemed other women felt threatened by her perfection and kindness. Once again I was left wondering if Maddie was genuine or not, but I knew the hell I'd pay if I didn't accept her offer--being that she's my mother's sister's daughter, and mom thinks she's the best thing since Jesus was resurrected.
I mustered up as much enthusiasm as I could. "I'd be honored."
"Omacine, I hear the trepidation in your voice, but I assure you, you won't regret this."
"I don't know. You know I'm not good at things like this."
She sighed. "Omacine, that's what you always say and then we always end up having such a great time."
We do?
"Have you told my mom?" I asked.
"Hey, baby! It's your momma and Auntie on the phone!"
"Mom? Auntie? Maddie, you didn't!"
"I just wanted to be sure that I had backup if you acted like your usual self."
"Mom!" I shouted.
"Now Omacine, stop acting up--"
"I can't believe you guys!"
My auntie giggled in the background.
"Omacine, I'm so sorry," Maddie said in a sullen voice, which appeared to be very genuine--as I was sure she'd been put up to it by our moms; this wasn't Maddie's style. "I was just so excited and I wanted you to be too. I didn't mean to upset you. I--"
"See Omacine. Now look what you've done!" mom shouted.
Me? What'd I do?
The next thing I knew all three of them were crying, shouting, and apologizing all at the same time.
"Okay! Okay!" I interrupted. "Maddie, it's no big deal, I was just caught off guard. I'm happy about your engagement and I happy to be apart of
this thing."
"Oh, Omacine!" she cried, "We're going to have a blast. Now we only need to..."
I tuned out as the three hens clucked on and on about the engagement and all
the things I'd need to do.